Brat
Discipline is a rough subject, because everyone has different views. I am trying to get new ideas for my kids.
I believe every child has a discipline that works for them. I also believe that torture tactics are not discipline but are child abuse. I think that spanking is OK if you have control over yourself and don't take out all your aggression on your child. I also feel that spanking is more to get their attention rather than to hurt them. I am not going to say you are a bad parent if you spank. Again every child has a discipline that works for them.
What do you do for discipline in your house?
F Palmer that is child abuse. You can go to jail for that. I would find a better discipline technique if I were you before you lose your kids.
Answer
1. Don't try to discipline when you are angry. That's when it is time to hand the punishment over to your spouse before you loose your cool (or take your own time out to cool down first). There were may times my wife and I had to tag team to keep our cools. If a child can make you angry they have already won. If you are married, back each other 100% infront of the kids. If you have an issue with your spouse about a punishment go into another room, resolve it between the two of you and if needed let the parent that issued the punishment edit the punishment.
2. Don't give unlimited threats. Our kids knew that they had three warnings. The warnings were explicit "I've told you once", "I've told you twice, if you do that again this will happen", "Third time, punishment immedialy if at all possible". If one of us parents got to the number three the kids knew they were not going to like what happened. Both of the kids knew that up front from the time they were toddlers. This has the added benifit that the warnings and punishment are over before you loose your cool.
3. Be consistant if something is worth punishing for the first time its worth punishment the next 30 times. Then it is easy to as them the question "What happens when you throw you cars at the dog?" and they know "I can't play with the cars for 3 minutes". If they already knew the answer they didn't get three more warnings, only the one for that day. Be ready to go right back a refer to rule #2
4. We tried to make the punishment fit the crime. For example
Too loud in the house = "You can't use inside voice" = Go outside,
Banging a toy on the table/TV/dog = TOY goes into time out until it can play nice,
Screaming/hitting others =Time out 1 minute for each year of age. Any longer than that and they forgot why they were in time out. (Yes, we had to sit in time out with them at times) and it always started over when they left time out early. We didn't use a timer (until they were 7-9 yrs old) to reenforce that we the parents were in control of the situation and had not turned it over to an inatimate object.
Slamming a door in anger ment they were to "little" to have a door and the door to their room was taken off its hinges and they had to dress in the bathroom for a couple of days and for my daughter that ment she couldn't keep her little brother out of her room. (The last time I had to do that to her she was eight and she had a TEMPER at that age)
4 The only sure way they got a spanking was for out and out defiance. (My son earned more of these). He's still stubborn but now there are other things that can be used that have more impact than spanking a 14 yr old (i.e. no electric conviniences -- game system, ipod,cel phone or I can add extra chores (I save a list of those always on hand just in case. These chores are also a good to use in bartering with my kids for extra money/that game they just have to have))
5 Only fight a war with your kids if you have to, but if you do win and win decisively. Most things don't require war and a simple redirection will do.
Kids are to loud time to go outside.
Kids are whining time for a nap.
Kids to sleepy to get up in the morning kids go to bed 30 minutes earlier tonight. Yeah they don't like it and it's an inconvience to stop what you are doing to enfore it, but worth it. But there are times: my daughter decided (age 4) that she was not going to wear a seat belt and could play with the car door so she un-buckled her car seat while I was driving and would not stop. So after Dad spanked her and move her carseat away from the window, I told her that if she ever wanted a war to bring it on because if it was worth it I'd fight the war of the will and would alway win. After that incident any time she decided that she was about ready to push me (or my wife) to the limit. I could ask her if it was really worth going to war to have her way, she would sheepishly say no bite her lip and change her tune. The only reason this works is if you are willing to wage and win the war even if it would embarass you.
All this being said I have to hand it to any single parent that is or has raised a child by themselves. My hat is off to you.
1. Don't try to discipline when you are angry. That's when it is time to hand the punishment over to your spouse before you loose your cool (or take your own time out to cool down first). There were may times my wife and I had to tag team to keep our cools. If a child can make you angry they have already won. If you are married, back each other 100% infront of the kids. If you have an issue with your spouse about a punishment go into another room, resolve it between the two of you and if needed let the parent that issued the punishment edit the punishment.
2. Don't give unlimited threats. Our kids knew that they had three warnings. The warnings were explicit "I've told you once", "I've told you twice, if you do that again this will happen", "Third time, punishment immedialy if at all possible". If one of us parents got to the number three the kids knew they were not going to like what happened. Both of the kids knew that up front from the time they were toddlers. This has the added benifit that the warnings and punishment are over before you loose your cool.
3. Be consistant if something is worth punishing for the first time its worth punishment the next 30 times. Then it is easy to as them the question "What happens when you throw you cars at the dog?" and they know "I can't play with the cars for 3 minutes". If they already knew the answer they didn't get three more warnings, only the one for that day. Be ready to go right back a refer to rule #2
4. We tried to make the punishment fit the crime. For example
Too loud in the house = "You can't use inside voice" = Go outside,
Banging a toy on the table/TV/dog = TOY goes into time out until it can play nice,
Screaming/hitting others =Time out 1 minute for each year of age. Any longer than that and they forgot why they were in time out. (Yes, we had to sit in time out with them at times) and it always started over when they left time out early. We didn't use a timer (until they were 7-9 yrs old) to reenforce that we the parents were in control of the situation and had not turned it over to an inatimate object.
Slamming a door in anger ment they were to "little" to have a door and the door to their room was taken off its hinges and they had to dress in the bathroom for a couple of days and for my daughter that ment she couldn't keep her little brother out of her room. (The last time I had to do that to her she was eight and she had a TEMPER at that age)
4 The only sure way they got a spanking was for out and out defiance. (My son earned more of these). He's still stubborn but now there are other things that can be used that have more impact than spanking a 14 yr old (i.e. no electric conviniences -- game system, ipod,cel phone or I can add extra chores (I save a list of those always on hand just in case. These chores are also a good to use in bartering with my kids for extra money/that game they just have to have))
5 Only fight a war with your kids if you have to, but if you do win and win decisively. Most things don't require war and a simple redirection will do.
Kids are to loud time to go outside.
Kids are whining time for a nap.
Kids to sleepy to get up in the morning kids go to bed 30 minutes earlier tonight. Yeah they don't like it and it's an inconvience to stop what you are doing to enfore it, but worth it. But there are times: my daughter decided (age 4) that she was not going to wear a seat belt and could play with the car door so she un-buckled her car seat while I was driving and would not stop. So after Dad spanked her and move her carseat away from the window, I told her that if she ever wanted a war to bring it on because if it was worth it I'd fight the war of the will and would alway win. After that incident any time she decided that she was about ready to push me (or my wife) to the limit. I could ask her if it was really worth going to war to have her way, she would sheepishly say no bite her lip and change her tune. The only reason this works is if you are willing to wage and win the war even if it would embarass you.
All this being said I have to hand it to any single parent that is or has raised a child by themselves. My hat is off to you.
Graduation party mix?
matt b
Throwing mid day outdoor grad party. Ages of guests 20-50s. Need a great mixtape celebration/graduation themed. Help! Thanks!
Answer
1. One Step Beyond
2. Baggy Trousers
3. Macarena
4. The Ketchup Song
5. Swing The Mood
6. Cotton-Eye Joe
7. La Bamba
8. The Can Can
9. Who Let The Dogs Out
10. Club Tropicana
11. I'm Your Man
12. Greased Lightning
13. Cuba
14. Just A Little Bit
15. Footloose
16. Walkin' On Sunshine
17. Car Wash
18. Billie Jean
19. We Are Family
20. Bee Gees Medley
a) Stayinâ Alive b) Jive Talkinâ c) Night Fever d) You Should Be Dancing
1. Dancing Queen
2. Waterloo
3. Mama Mia
4. How Will I Know
5. Don't Leave Me This Way
6. Don't You Want Me
7. Girls On Film
8. Material Girl
9. Electric Avenue
10. 1999
11. Venus
12. The Time Warp
13. Daydream Believer
14. Stand And Deliver
15. Crocodile Rock
16. A Hard Dayâs Night
17. The Boys Are Back In Town
18. White Wedding
19. Kids in America
20. Gold
1. One Step Beyond
2. Baggy Trousers
3. Macarena
4. The Ketchup Song
5. Swing The Mood
6. Cotton-Eye Joe
7. La Bamba
8. The Can Can
9. Who Let The Dogs Out
10. Club Tropicana
11. I'm Your Man
12. Greased Lightning
13. Cuba
14. Just A Little Bit
15. Footloose
16. Walkin' On Sunshine
17. Car Wash
18. Billie Jean
19. We Are Family
20. Bee Gees Medley
a) Stayinâ Alive b) Jive Talkinâ c) Night Fever d) You Should Be Dancing
1. Dancing Queen
2. Waterloo
3. Mama Mia
4. How Will I Know
5. Don't Leave Me This Way
6. Don't You Want Me
7. Girls On Film
8. Material Girl
9. Electric Avenue
10. 1999
11. Venus
12. The Time Warp
13. Daydream Believer
14. Stand And Deliver
15. Crocodile Rock
16. A Hard Dayâs Night
17. The Boys Are Back In Town
18. White Wedding
19. Kids in America
20. Gold
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Title Post: What are your views on discipline?
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Rating: 92% based on 925 ratings. 4 user reviews.
Author: Unknown
Thanks For Coming To My Blog
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