will me and my kids be able to survive on our own?

aunisty

my husband came home from work afew days ago and i had this strong urge to go out to his truck. so i went there and was looking around and i found a pair of womens underware! i panicked, came in the house, started screaming and told him he had to leave right away.

he said he would leave.

he was mostly the bread winner and made approx. $3200 a month. i work my butt off as a CNA and only make $1950 a month after taxes. we have 5 kids ranging from ages 2-13, a pregnant dog expecting 10 puppies in june, and 2 other dogs. and we have a cat and a pet rat.

keep in mind, my cousin babysits the 2 younger kids for only $50 a week while i work and my house is paid off so i only have these bills-

house taxes- 100 a month
house insurance- 50 a month
cable, internet, phone package- 115 a month
electric- 65 a month
car insurance- 85 a month
heat- (summer months) 50 a month
and water and sewer $50 a month
and daycare 200 a month
and my fancy table im paying 45 a month on

i usually take the kids bowling or roller skating too for $30-40 a week so $120 a month
and i spend about $110 on the animals a month

and i pack home lunches for school.

will we be able to survive without my husband, and how soon can i get child support and what do i have to do?

Answer
You have done really well to have put your family budget together so quickly. This is definitely the first thought to consider when parting ways with an ex. You work way too hard to put up with any crap from Mr. Wiggley.

On the other hand, your ex is still the kids father and should be treated as such. Get to a lawyer right away and get an emergency hearing for child support. Your husband will fight back, so it is important to prepare carefully and cooly.

There is a complete guide for custody strategies from top experts that work with parents just like you every day and have been for 25 years.

Get many more answers for child custody at my website: http://www.forchildcustody.com

Beginning Building RC Car/Trucks?

AndrewAIID

I want to get into RC car/trucks I would like to know where to start? I want a simple build 1:10 scale truck to take off in dirt and what not. What do i need to build one? I don't want like a starter kit with all the parts, I would like to buy all the components separately and build. Could anyone give me a list of what parts I'd need for just a simple build that wont break my wallet. Also if anyone can give me their opinion on parts the favor most and/or what parts go together best. I'm new and never played with an rc car except walmart junkers would to tackle this head on piece by piece to make my own.

Answer
hey man, as an experienced rc hobbyist I dont recommend doing that.......Only reason is because you can not basically build one from the ground up...you have to buy kits or premade and modify/build them......

If you want to really enjoy it and get a assload of experience do this, buy a SMALL starter truck

I started out on a team losi mini lst2......drive that for about 6 months.....get the feel of rc cars, learn every manipulation, maneuver, and control about it. Learn how to take care of it and keep it properly maintained.

Then take it COMPLETELY apart... (except electronics like the esc and steering servo's) and rebuild it.....you will feel so confident and accomplished about it....

after 6 months at LEAST.....then buy a redcat racing volcano epx pro.....it is a basic 1/10th scale brushless truck (you can start out with this one too) if starting out do the same thing, but with this truck.......if you already started out with the lst2...then spend about 2-3weeks learning the new truck all over again ( until you are confident that you can drive that truck better than anyone else)...then take it to a local race, or find some friends locally that you can race for a small entry fee....

You will beat everyone almost guarenteed if you folllow what I say and you will earn money for better cars.......the first time I raced my truck ( I was 14) I expected to get my ass spanked and sent home......I left with 1st place trophy, 200$ check, 20$ in rc store credit and a lifetime membership card to their store ( usually 5.99 a month)........all the racers there were either grown men that did not have time to practice...or little kids that ride on their daddies fat wallet and expect their 9000mph car to kill everyone else.

After you get bored with these two trucks, then deeply think if you are ready to commit to a REAL hobby in rc racing, pursue working in a local hobby store and purchasing a really nice rc car to upgrade/race with.

Basically this is what I did....And I was VERY happy and successful in this hobby, I almost went in the state races and maybe nationals....but I realized that You will spend more money than you will make with these little guys...


Also, here is a video I made when I was 12!!!!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ht-XBwHHkds

it's really bad, but considering everyone else my age could only drive in modified straight lines I won alot of friendly races and competetition.

EDIT: also, to give u an idea how complex these little bastards are, just look at the volcano epx pro's user manual http://content.yudu.com/Library/A17zpn/RedcatRacingElectric/resources/index.htm?referrerUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.yudu.com%2Fitem%2Fdetails%2F57112%2FRedcat-Racing-Electric-Vehicle-Manual

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What are your views on discipline?

Brat

Discipline is a rough subject, because everyone has different views. I am trying to get new ideas for my kids.

I believe every child has a discipline that works for them. I also believe that torture tactics are not discipline but are child abuse. I think that spanking is OK if you have control over yourself and don't take out all your aggression on your child. I also feel that spanking is more to get their attention rather than to hurt them. I am not going to say you are a bad parent if you spank. Again every child has a discipline that works for them.

What do you do for discipline in your house?
F Palmer that is child abuse. You can go to jail for that. I would find a better discipline technique if I were you before you lose your kids.

Answer
1. Don't try to discipline when you are angry. That's when it is time to hand the punishment over to your spouse before you loose your cool (or take your own time out to cool down first). There were may times my wife and I had to tag team to keep our cools. If a child can make you angry they have already won. If you are married, back each other 100% infront of the kids. If you have an issue with your spouse about a punishment go into another room, resolve it between the two of you and if needed let the parent that issued the punishment edit the punishment.

2. Don't give unlimited threats. Our kids knew that they had three warnings. The warnings were explicit "I've told you once", "I've told you twice, if you do that again this will happen", "Third time, punishment immedialy if at all possible". If one of us parents got to the number three the kids knew they were not going to like what happened. Both of the kids knew that up front from the time they were toddlers. This has the added benifit that the warnings and punishment are over before you loose your cool.

3. Be consistant if something is worth punishing for the first time its worth punishment the next 30 times. Then it is easy to as them the question "What happens when you throw you cars at the dog?" and they know "I can't play with the cars for 3 minutes". If they already knew the answer they didn't get three more warnings, only the one for that day. Be ready to go right back a refer to rule #2

4. We tried to make the punishment fit the crime. For example
Too loud in the house = "You can't use inside voice" = Go outside,
Banging a toy on the table/TV/dog = TOY goes into time out until it can play nice,
Screaming/hitting others =Time out 1 minute for each year of age. Any longer than that and they forgot why they were in time out. (Yes, we had to sit in time out with them at times) and it always started over when they left time out early. We didn't use a timer (until they were 7-9 yrs old) to reenforce that we the parents were in control of the situation and had not turned it over to an inatimate object.
Slamming a door in anger ment they were to "little" to have a door and the door to their room was taken off its hinges and they had to dress in the bathroom for a couple of days and for my daughter that ment she couldn't keep her little brother out of her room. (The last time I had to do that to her she was eight and she had a TEMPER at that age)

4 The only sure way they got a spanking was for out and out defiance. (My son earned more of these). He's still stubborn but now there are other things that can be used that have more impact than spanking a 14 yr old (i.e. no electric conviniences -- game system, ipod,cel phone or I can add extra chores (I save a list of those always on hand just in case. These chores are also a good to use in bartering with my kids for extra money/that game they just have to have))

5 Only fight a war with your kids if you have to, but if you do win and win decisively. Most things don't require war and a simple redirection will do.
Kids are to loud time to go outside.
Kids are whining time for a nap.
Kids to sleepy to get up in the morning kids go to bed 30 minutes earlier tonight. Yeah they don't like it and it's an inconvience to stop what you are doing to enfore it, but worth it. But there are times: my daughter decided (age 4) that she was not going to wear a seat belt and could play with the car door so she un-buckled her car seat while I was driving and would not stop. So after Dad spanked her and move her carseat away from the window, I told her that if she ever wanted a war to bring it on because if it was worth it I'd fight the war of the will and would alway win. After that incident any time she decided that she was about ready to push me (or my wife) to the limit. I could ask her if it was really worth going to war to have her way, she would sheepishly say no bite her lip and change her tune. The only reason this works is if you are willing to wage and win the war even if it would embarass you.

All this being said I have to hand it to any single parent that is or has raised a child by themselves. My hat is off to you.

Graduation party mix?

matt b

Throwing mid day outdoor grad party. Ages of guests 20-50s. Need a great mixtape celebration/graduation themed. Help! Thanks!

Answer
1. One Step Beyond
2. Baggy Trousers
3. Macarena
4. The Ketchup Song
5. Swing The Mood
6. Cotton-Eye Joe
7. La Bamba
8. The Can Can
9. Who Let The Dogs Out
10. Club Tropicana
11. I'm Your Man
12. Greased Lightning
13. Cuba
14. Just A Little Bit
15. Footloose
16. Walkin' On Sunshine
17. Car Wash
18. Billie Jean
19. We Are Family
20. Bee Gees Medley
a) Stayinâ Alive b) Jive Talkinâ c) Night Fever d) You Should Be Dancing
1. Dancing Queen
2. Waterloo
3. Mama Mia
4. How Will I Know
5. Don't Leave Me This Way
6. Don't You Want Me
7. Girls On Film
8. Material Girl
9. Electric Avenue
10. 1999
11. Venus
12. The Time Warp
13. Daydream Believer
14. Stand And Deliver
15. Crocodile Rock
16. A Hard Dayâs Night
17. The Boys Are Back In Town
18. White Wedding
19. Kids in America
20. Gold

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What should I get my brother and father for Christmas? Gift ideas please?

electric cars for kids age 5 image

krich613

ok, so I need to know what to get both my dad and brother for christmas. My price limit is probably $20-$30 dollars each. My brother is 20 and my dad is in his late 40's. They both are huge michigan football fans but also have plenty of michigan things. they are also sports fans and exercise a lot. My brother goes to college and my dad is a business man.give me some gift ideas for them please. thanks a bunch and best answer gets 10 pts.

Answer
Get them a nice cologne! I'm sure both of you would enjoy it! Maybe Eternity by Calvin Klein? Or Acqua Di Gorgio? Maybe a nice 'For Men' cologne kit? Really, they WILL like it! I think Macy's still has their sale up too!

You could also get them like, maybe some roller skates or roller blades; get them into doing father son stuff.

Or some Swiss army knives! Any guy would like one of those!

Or maybe some tools? Like a small set of electric wood carvers and burners? They could build/make small plaques or carve then darken with the burn setting a picture! Get them creative! = )

Maybe if they like a certain TV show you could get them the first season?

You could start them on a hobby collection! Stamps, some rare coins... etc, etc!

There's always cool shark teeth pendants for guys!

You could get an African mask to hang in their room!

Or something from the Ed Hardy collection!

RC cars or helicopters never grow old despite your age! Get them that helicopter set where each helicopter is equipped with a laser. And when they are in the air the first helicopter ht by the other helicopter loses all power and falls to the ground! They also have that for tanks!

Or maybe two RC cars totally different from one another that they can race against each other to see which is the fastest!

Or maybe a nice pocket watch for each of them! With a cool design on the front!

Giftcards are always nice!

Do they use toothpicks a lot? You could get them a sleek silver toothpick holder with their initials engraved on it! That's what I got my brother in law last year! Here's the link: http://www.x-tremegeek.com/templates/SearchDetail.asp?productID=11481

Do they have a favorite candy? You could get their favorite candy in bulk at Amazon! I'm getting 5 lbs of sour patch kids this year!

Maybe some small 5 or 10 pound dumbells to go jogging with?

Once again, have a Merry Christmas and I hope you finally find something to buy them! = )

How do you think we can prevent the scarcity of fossil fuels?

For peace

The price of petrol and diesel are rising day by day and our hydrocarbon reserves are diminishing...Although researches are still going on..to find a substitute,what else can we do to prevent "lack of fuel" condition??

Any ideas?Any sugestions??
Johnnie, as you said,the earth recycles....but,it takes a huge amount of time for that...Also...the organic matter(such as plants,animals etc..) are also getting used up..

Answer
First thing we could do would be to talk about it, spread awareness, let people know that there is an issue which needs to be tackled before it turns into a crisis. You posing this question depicts that we (at least you) have got the first step right.

Let me first state that in my opinion, there is no out-of-the-box easy solution for this. The only answers are search for newer and non-traditional sources of energy like geothermal energy, tidal energy, solar energy, liquid hydrogen, garbage energy etc and exercise controlled and minimized use of non-replenishable sources of energy.

Here are a few suggestions-

1- Save oil!
Seen as a caption in many of the children's painting competitions- "Save Oil!" should be the motto of everyone around the planet. Personal automobiles should be used less. Public transport facilities should be ameliorated.

2- Go CFL!
Compact fluorescent light bulbs should replace the energy consuming electric bulbs. Likewise, age-old machines should make way for the modern energy efficient appliances.

3- Check vehicles!
What was the last time you neglected your bike/ car's poor average and mileage? Over-consumption should be kept under check by keeping your ride in good condition.

4- Search!
Search for new oil reserves might just buy us more time to think over and solve the impending crisis.

5- Fire and oil make a deadly combo...
Keep the oil refineries and reserves well protected from fire. Not only these accidental fires cause a loss of money and lives, they result in huge loss of the natural resources.

6- Encourage the solar cooker.
Don't mock the nuclear plant. It is a shy but bright kid. Kidding! Ok bad joke... I mean to say- we should slowly work towards establishing non-traditional sources of energy in our lifestyles. Nuclear energy still has a wide scope of application. Same with hydroelectric, solar, wind and other alternatives.

7- Turn off the lights, switch off the fans....
You're probably yawning reading this. This had been repeated so many times but still... you have to save energy in day-to-day affairs.

8- Spread awareness.
Yes, we need more campaigns. The chapters in our social-studies books have already told and retold us all these things but, there is a certain crowd that needs to be told about this in a more effective manner.

9- Smokeless and fuel efficient chulhas.
Here, in India, villages still rely on fuel wood and coal for their basic energy needs. The smokeless chulhas (stoves) go a long way in conserving wood from blind consumption.

10- Use Biogas.
We need more biogas plants. They, in my view, are the best and simplest alternatives in terms of energy cycling. Go biogas! So what if it doesn't smell like roses?

11- Population!
All these measures are of no or little use if the consumption still keeps growing. How about we put a check on population growth? We have been listening to this since the beginning! Do something! Take lessons from China!

12- Plant trees....
Again a well-known and over-discussed solution. We need more mass campaigns. More fuel wood trees and shrubs should be grown.

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What can I make out of fat quarters?

electric cars for kids age 5 image

Beautiful

I need some ideas of things to make for a little boy (he's two) out of fat quarters. I found some really cute ones today that I couldn't resist buying them. But, I have no idea what to make with them. I know I could make a quilt, but I don't want to do that as he has a really nice handmade quilt that my mom made him. Any suggestions would be great. Thank you.

Answer
Fat quarters are a wonderful size for making toys. My very first thought was blocks - stuffed ones are amazing and really enjoyed at that age. Get firm foam from an upholstery shop - have them cut it a little bit on the large side - or do it yourself - easily with an electric knife (you know - the turkey carver that is 25 years old sitting in the box from your wedding). Pillows of any size and shape -- I say really neat letter shaped ones just recently. (Examples: http://www.mypillows4me.com/) Organizational things like a shoe rack for the back of the door - cardboard / masonite & foam covered sides that tie together to make toy sorters, cover a lampshade, make a wall hanging, make a ceiling creation, a fabric kite to 'fly' over the bed, a dragonfly to cover the overhead fixture, covers for the blades of a ceiling fan, Create a felt board and then make houses / people / animals etc. to play with, rag dolls, Beanbags? Maybe tiny little drawstring bags for kids' treasures--or you could fill them with a crayon pack, matchbox cars, sidewalk chalk, jacks and a ball, candy. Tote or drawstring bags are great , too.

You could fill an empty jar (plastic) with Duplo (large Legos) and cover the lid with a quarter and some matching ribbon.

http://www.nancysnotions.com/jump.do?itemID=5&itemType=LANDING&page=Ben_smiles
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vvxUNvl_n0
http://www.lazygirldesigns.com/blog/?p=672 for yourself!

Single Dad needs advice on how to pay for childcare?

T.J

I'm a single Dad with 2 daughters (age 2 and 5 yrs old). I make decent money but It's getting very difficult to pay for daycare for my youngest and after school care for my oldest. I receive no assistance from their mother and I can't take her to court because she has nothing anyway. Does anybody know of any grants or programs I might beable to apply for to help pay for the childcare? Childcare + Rent + food + car payment + clothing, I don't know if I can make it. Any advice would be helpful. Thanks.

Answer
Daycare---contact your local dept. of jobs and family services.
They help with paying a portion of daycare bills at county approved centers and the rest is based on your income. They will give you a list of approved centers, you can call to see if they are accepting new children, check out the center and go from there. I pay $145 a month for 2 kids. Normal rate is $125 for the my youngest and $110 for my oldest. Thats PER WEEK, PER KID so you can see it is a big difference, and I too, make decent money.
Food---WIC (Women, Infants and Children) is a great program that will provide coupons for Milk, juice, eggs, cereal, cheese and peanut butter. Based on child's health and how the measure up to other children the same age on the growth chart. This is only for children up to age 5, so one daughter may qualify. It can also be based on income and need, but it is a program that is more along the lines of creating a healthy child.
Food Stamps---income based, helps out with buying food for your family. Food only, no cleaning products, paper products, alcohol, cigarettes or like items.
Rent, clothing, Car payments----try the dept. of jobs and family services again. They have voucher programs for help with the above things as well as other items.
Medicaid----If you do not have insurance coverage or have minimum coverage, you can apply for the medicaid card. It will pick up all the costs associated with health care.
Utilities----Budget plans for electric and gas, Lifeline service for phone, PIPP plans for electric and gas. Call your utility companies for info on these programs.
Most of the county programs will ask for pay stubs or tax returns, copies of rent and utility bills/receipts, checking account info, medical insurance info, saving, assests, birth certificates and social security numbers. Take all requested info with you to any appointment. They are very good at helping you learn about and understand what is available to you.
No matter what the mother doesn't have, it is your responsibility to provide for your daughters. Contact child support, get a case worker and open a support case against her. She may not have much, but if she is proven to be the mother (they will order a paternity test for everyone involved to establish paternity, even if you know for sure who the parents are), they will do what is necessary to have her pay child support. It may not be much, but you can go for back support and any support that is ordered will stand, even if she is thousands of dollars behind. If she is working, he employer MUST take support out, if she is on unemployment, they also must take support out. Her tax returns will also come to you. She will be legally obligated to pay the support, no matter how long it may take her.
Also, I shop at consignment shops, Goodwill and off of the sale rack. Most palces anymore will only take clothing that is in good condition, no tears, stains or anything like that. My kids are hard on clothes. I have a few "good" outfits for them, but the rest is hand me down, 2nd hand or garage sales. We don't look like ragamuffins, but we aren't sporting GAP, AE or Abercrombie, either. It just isn't woth it to buy that stuff.
Try a local church group if you need "adult" time. They usually provide childcare and a way to just get out of the house and around other adults. Parents groups are good, too. We HAVE to keep our sanity.
Shoot me an e-mail if you want to know anything else, to chat or even vent.
It's tough, it's hard, it can get discouraging, but you are doing what you need to.

I am a 29 yr old single mother of 2, a 4 1/2 yr old boy and an almost 1 yr old girl.
I have taken advantage of every program that is out there. I work full time, go to school part time and live on my own. Before I had my kids, I worked 2, sometimes 3 jobs at a time.
I have paid plenty of taxes and have every right to take advantage of what is out there, as do you.
The programs are designed to help those who need it to get back on their feet, take care of their family and live a heathy life. (although there are MANY people who are abusing the program)
Don't get discouraged, make a few phone calls and do what you can. It is hard, but it makes you stronger and helps you to realize what you can do to survive.

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