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Whitie
I was raised with parents that spanked I feel some situations call for it but what do you guys think?
Answer
I think it depends entirely on the child and situation.
For instance, if you have a toddler, who really likes to test you, by doing dangerous things like sticking keys in electric outlets, playing with wires, trying to touch the hot stove, running into traffic, etc..spanking can be a good tool.
To a toddler, doing those things is not dangerous, its a fun game to play with mummy. They do not understand the consequence of being electrocuted, or hit by a car. A toddler needs to learn that those things bring pain, and a swift smack to the bottom, will teach them that.
I would rather smack my child's bottom, then have to rush them to the ER or possibly watch them die.
As they get older, spanking become so much less effective. At that stage, you can reason with them. Make them understand there are consequences for being naughty. Take away something special to them, and they will understand why.
If I have a child like myself, spanking will be a useless tool. I was stubbourn and spanking me only made me angry and more likely to do what I shouldn't.
So, as I said. It depends entirely upon the child and situation. Every child is different and the way you punish one, may not work on the other. As a parent, you are constantly learning. lol
I will end this by saying, I do not believe in using spanking as a way to take out frustration with the child, or in anger. I also do not believe in spanking for every thing. If you overuse it, it becomes moot. The punishment should fit the crime and everything is not spank worthy.
I think it depends entirely on the child and situation.
For instance, if you have a toddler, who really likes to test you, by doing dangerous things like sticking keys in electric outlets, playing with wires, trying to touch the hot stove, running into traffic, etc..spanking can be a good tool.
To a toddler, doing those things is not dangerous, its a fun game to play with mummy. They do not understand the consequence of being electrocuted, or hit by a car. A toddler needs to learn that those things bring pain, and a swift smack to the bottom, will teach them that.
I would rather smack my child's bottom, then have to rush them to the ER or possibly watch them die.
As they get older, spanking become so much less effective. At that stage, you can reason with them. Make them understand there are consequences for being naughty. Take away something special to them, and they will understand why.
If I have a child like myself, spanking will be a useless tool. I was stubbourn and spanking me only made me angry and more likely to do what I shouldn't.
So, as I said. It depends entirely upon the child and situation. Every child is different and the way you punish one, may not work on the other. As a parent, you are constantly learning. lol
I will end this by saying, I do not believe in using spanking as a way to take out frustration with the child, or in anger. I also do not believe in spanking for every thing. If you overuse it, it becomes moot. The punishment should fit the crime and everything is not spank worthy.
She's pregnant. What are some of the costs associated with pregnancy and child rearing?
Joe Schmoe
Neither of us have ever had kids. What will be the biggest challenge? How much does day care cost? Diapers? Etc.? Will I be able to finish college? I need to hear about other peoples' experiences.
Answer
My husband is an accountant and figured this out as much as he could. Please be aware that we live in a high cost area so we are paying more than say, the Midwest.
1. Medical care - Maternity care and the doctor's fee for delivery is usually a flat rate. This includes all your prenatal visits and a basic vaginal delivery fee for the delivering physician. This does not cover blood work, ultrasounds, urology testing, vaginal cultures, etc. These are billed at whatever rate you have with your insurer. The actual stay at the hospital will be a room, bed, nursing plus materials cost. I would call your local hospital and insurer to figure out approximately what this will come to.
2. Day care. Completely depends on who, how and where. Count on at least $800/month on the low side for home-run daycare with much more for a franchise facility. We are fortunate in our area because we can get qualified nannies who are recent immigrants who will cook, clean and watch the children for $1000/month.
3. Diapers. Cloth diapers are more work, but less expensive. Cloth diapers now are entirely different from what they used to be. http://www.fuzzibunz.com/ http://www.happyheinys.com/ If you go with disposables, buy them from Sam's Club or Costco or equivalent. I would buy wipes in bulk from them as well. If we buy them from a local store, they run about $18-20/pack. The packs get smaller as the sizes get bigger. They start at around 40 diapers and go down from there. Babies go through about a dozen diapers a day to start and then taper down some. You will spend a ton of money here.
4. Feeding. Breastfeeding saves well over $1000/year. You will need a breast pump which runs up to $350. (Buy a good one such as a Medela dual electric.) You will also need smaller items such as nursing bras, nursing pads, etc. You will want to have some bottles and maybe a bottle warmer on hand so that she can express her milk with the pump, and others can feed the baby when she is not with him. I can't speak to formula feeding. We aren't planning on going that route.
5. Setup costs. Buying used can save you a ton of money, but you will need to do research to ensure that the items meet safety standards. I would suggest www.craigslist.com. Do NOT buy a used crib mattress. Buy this new for sanitary and safety reasons. I would also suggest that you buy a new infant car seat and base. If the car is ever in an accident of any kind, the infant seat and base must be replaced, even if they look perfectly undamaged. I wouldn't risk someone's selling you a seat that may have been in an accident. We had to buy new since in our area, the cost weirdly ends up being the same between the 'normal stuff' that we would buy and the used 'ultra-luxury' stuff that people sell. We budgeted $2000 and came in just below that, but that included everything - car seat, base, stroller, crib, mattress, changing table, all possible accessories, breast pump with all other breastfeeding items, bottles and nipples, bottle warmer, toys, glider rocker with ottoman, clothes, 500 wipes, 2 -3 weeks worth of diapers, etc. For this amount, we completely and fully outfitted an entire nursery by shopping sales, generous baby showers, and spending a lot of time online looking for quality, but less expensive baby furniture. We did buy a changing table that is really a dresser with a change table on top so that we didn't have to buy him a dresser when he is a toddler or to use for both children if we have a second (dresser for the first and changing table top for the second).
Our pregnancy was a complete and total surprise. (We were told that I probably couldn't have children.) We immediately began to save and make financial arrangements. We also reduced our expenses by cutting down on simple things such as my husband's morning stop for coffee, dinners out on Fridays, visiting movie theatres, etc. We instead starting doing free activities or lower costs things such as renting movies, going for walks in the free botantical gardens, eating out at cheap restaurants, and being more careful to buy grocery items that are on sale.
The baby was the first grandchild on both sides and the first baby in the family for several years so people went 'nutz-so' on gift giving which was very generous and a tremendous help. I would not be shy about registering for whatever you need. People love to buy for babies and are truly happy to give you gifts. Even co-workers surprised me with a homemade knit baby blanket and other presents.
My father (who is around a genius IQ) had a wife, two children and full-time, nightshift menial job sweeping coal dust in a power plant after being discharged from the Army. It took him nine years part-time, but he graduated from college and went on to have a good career. He started when I (the oldest child) was seven years told so I was 16 when he graduated. It was
My husband is an accountant and figured this out as much as he could. Please be aware that we live in a high cost area so we are paying more than say, the Midwest.
1. Medical care - Maternity care and the doctor's fee for delivery is usually a flat rate. This includes all your prenatal visits and a basic vaginal delivery fee for the delivering physician. This does not cover blood work, ultrasounds, urology testing, vaginal cultures, etc. These are billed at whatever rate you have with your insurer. The actual stay at the hospital will be a room, bed, nursing plus materials cost. I would call your local hospital and insurer to figure out approximately what this will come to.
2. Day care. Completely depends on who, how and where. Count on at least $800/month on the low side for home-run daycare with much more for a franchise facility. We are fortunate in our area because we can get qualified nannies who are recent immigrants who will cook, clean and watch the children for $1000/month.
3. Diapers. Cloth diapers are more work, but less expensive. Cloth diapers now are entirely different from what they used to be. http://www.fuzzibunz.com/ http://www.happyheinys.com/ If you go with disposables, buy them from Sam's Club or Costco or equivalent. I would buy wipes in bulk from them as well. If we buy them from a local store, they run about $18-20/pack. The packs get smaller as the sizes get bigger. They start at around 40 diapers and go down from there. Babies go through about a dozen diapers a day to start and then taper down some. You will spend a ton of money here.
4. Feeding. Breastfeeding saves well over $1000/year. You will need a breast pump which runs up to $350. (Buy a good one such as a Medela dual electric.) You will also need smaller items such as nursing bras, nursing pads, etc. You will want to have some bottles and maybe a bottle warmer on hand so that she can express her milk with the pump, and others can feed the baby when she is not with him. I can't speak to formula feeding. We aren't planning on going that route.
5. Setup costs. Buying used can save you a ton of money, but you will need to do research to ensure that the items meet safety standards. I would suggest www.craigslist.com. Do NOT buy a used crib mattress. Buy this new for sanitary and safety reasons. I would also suggest that you buy a new infant car seat and base. If the car is ever in an accident of any kind, the infant seat and base must be replaced, even if they look perfectly undamaged. I wouldn't risk someone's selling you a seat that may have been in an accident. We had to buy new since in our area, the cost weirdly ends up being the same between the 'normal stuff' that we would buy and the used 'ultra-luxury' stuff that people sell. We budgeted $2000 and came in just below that, but that included everything - car seat, base, stroller, crib, mattress, changing table, all possible accessories, breast pump with all other breastfeeding items, bottles and nipples, bottle warmer, toys, glider rocker with ottoman, clothes, 500 wipes, 2 -3 weeks worth of diapers, etc. For this amount, we completely and fully outfitted an entire nursery by shopping sales, generous baby showers, and spending a lot of time online looking for quality, but less expensive baby furniture. We did buy a changing table that is really a dresser with a change table on top so that we didn't have to buy him a dresser when he is a toddler or to use for both children if we have a second (dresser for the first and changing table top for the second).
Our pregnancy was a complete and total surprise. (We were told that I probably couldn't have children.) We immediately began to save and make financial arrangements. We also reduced our expenses by cutting down on simple things such as my husband's morning stop for coffee, dinners out on Fridays, visiting movie theatres, etc. We instead starting doing free activities or lower costs things such as renting movies, going for walks in the free botantical gardens, eating out at cheap restaurants, and being more careful to buy grocery items that are on sale.
The baby was the first grandchild on both sides and the first baby in the family for several years so people went 'nutz-so' on gift giving which was very generous and a tremendous help. I would not be shy about registering for whatever you need. People love to buy for babies and are truly happy to give you gifts. Even co-workers surprised me with a homemade knit baby blanket and other presents.
My father (who is around a genius IQ) had a wife, two children and full-time, nightshift menial job sweeping coal dust in a power plant after being discharged from the Army. It took him nine years part-time, but he graduated from college and went on to have a good career. He started when I (the oldest child) was seven years told so I was 16 when he graduated. It was
